Tonight I conclude Michelle Gibson, Martha Marinara, and Deborah Meem's article entitled "Bi, Butch, Bar Dyke: Pedagogical Performance of Class, Gender, and Sexuality" with Michelle Gibson's "Bar Dyke: A Cocktail Waitress Teaches Writing" section and the conclusion.
Gibson discusses her annual reappointment dossier and how the fact that if her "intellectual/emotional striptease [her metaphor for her tell all in her dossier] did nothing to help [her] create a space in the academy for students and faculty who perform identities such as femme lesbian, survivor of family violence, or recovering mental patient, then all that it did accomplish was to leave [her] standing buck naked in front of an audience" (557). I have to admit that this really made me feel uneasy inside. My annual review is due at the end of this month, and I can completely relate to so much of what Gibson says. Would revealing my true thoughts and feelings in my written review set me up for failure? I have only been in my position for two years, and am up for contract renewal next year. My job is not tenure track, so I'm sure they can fire me without little cause. While I did not come from a violent family like Gibson, and have yet to suffer a mental break, I do come from the Appalachian mountains of Virginia, and often feel like I am an imposer about to be found out in the academy. Surprisingly though, this helps me connect with some students who feel insecure in their academic lives, and this empathy hopefully helps me approach my teaching in a little different way.
I also think it makes me a better teacher, because I do know where so many students are coming from. They aren't the ones whose families have a lot of money and they have the privilege of doing their four years of college without student loans and working at least half-time jobs. No, I relate to those students who come from working families: families who can't afford to send their kids to school. I relate closest to the students who work 20-40 hours a week and take a full-time load of classes. The ones who often look tired during class, but who are there nonetheless. I hope I never forget what it felt like to be that student.
This article has been another eye-opener for me. When I read things like this, things that I actually relate too on such a personal level, it makes this blog difficult. I have revealed more about myself through these readings than I ever thought possible. And yes, most of the time I write, erase, re-write, erase, and then say, "What the hell" and write what I first intended. I am truly on a journey with this project, and one that I never thought I would be. This piece on identity has helped me understand more about myself and about my teaching. It doesn't get much better than this.
Gibson discusses her annual reappointment dossier and how the fact that if her "intellectual/emotional striptease [her metaphor for her tell all in her dossier] did nothing to help [her] create a space in the academy for students and faculty who perform identities such as femme lesbian, survivor of family violence, or recovering mental patient, then all that it did accomplish was to leave [her] standing buck naked in front of an audience" (557). I have to admit that this really made me feel uneasy inside. My annual review is due at the end of this month, and I can completely relate to so much of what Gibson says. Would revealing my true thoughts and feelings in my written review set me up for failure? I have only been in my position for two years, and am up for contract renewal next year. My job is not tenure track, so I'm sure they can fire me without little cause. While I did not come from a violent family like Gibson, and have yet to suffer a mental break, I do come from the Appalachian mountains of Virginia, and often feel like I am an imposer about to be found out in the academy. Surprisingly though, this helps me connect with some students who feel insecure in their academic lives, and this empathy hopefully helps me approach my teaching in a little different way.
I also think it makes me a better teacher, because I do know where so many students are coming from. They aren't the ones whose families have a lot of money and they have the privilege of doing their four years of college without student loans and working at least half-time jobs. No, I relate to those students who come from working families: families who can't afford to send their kids to school. I relate closest to the students who work 20-40 hours a week and take a full-time load of classes. The ones who often look tired during class, but who are there nonetheless. I hope I never forget what it felt like to be that student.
This article has been another eye-opener for me. When I read things like this, things that I actually relate too on such a personal level, it makes this blog difficult. I have revealed more about myself through these readings than I ever thought possible. And yes, most of the time I write, erase, re-write, erase, and then say, "What the hell" and write what I first intended. I am truly on a journey with this project, and one that I never thought I would be. This piece on identity has helped me understand more about myself and about my teaching. It doesn't get much better than this.
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